Childish

I am fully aware that my current most favorite things to enjoy, i.e. animes and related stuffs are generally childish interests/hobbies.

If you put it in a way, enjoying those things are like feeding that child so as to maintain that he is always contented.

Feed that child well with those stuff, and hence I will be a generally rational guy for the rest of the day/week. i.e. I will be a relatively much more mature man than I am when I am indulging myself with the weekly dose of anime episodes.

I just came to realization, that keeping him hungry, will simply cause myself to let it out.. The childish thoughts, which is normally clouded from logic; anger; irrationality; low threshold of irritability something probably very alike to the symptom of women's PMS.

Basically I have been deprived of my leisure time. I can still bear it if I miss my weekly episodes anime, but to be working for more than a full day on this particular weekend, which is at the same timing with the event that I pretty much look forward for one year long, is pretty damn annoying. I'm irritated to the point that I can probably just say it to my boss' face that I quit tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last day of that same event but it's also another meeting day, which is probably going to last more than a full day.

The fact I still have 6 days of leave from last year, (meaning 14 days of this year's leave are still untouched either, and another year is well in sight) and the stupid remark from the bigger boss like: "every time you take leave it is disruptive to the company", irritates me even more. By the way, despite the few downs this year, total MC taken since September 2011 = 0 days.

Too bad the fear is greater that the rage. Fear of not being able to get a new, better job; Fear of losing my longed year-end bonus (especially since it'll be a big waste at this kind of timing, for I have bear patience throughout the year despite my revered boss' (now ex-boss) departure from the company); Fear of fitting in to new environment, etc.

Therefore, for this child, presently, he needs to pretty much keep a low profile for now.
Oh yeah, don't forget the efforts that he has put as part of the year end Dinner and Dance Committee. It will all go to waste too if something childish were to happen for now.

But I should probably start drafting a good letter to be used next year...