lost keys

I lost my keys

Quite irritated since I one of those keys belongs to my auntie's place. I persisted to look for the keys and spend more than one hour reorganizing my stuff at the office and searching around the office floor when I realized that i've lost them as I was about to make a move.

Feeling unsatisfied, I went to the place where I bought my on-sale-chocolate after lunch and asked the salespersons. I'm actually quite glad that the one I personally talked to in the after, still recognized me in the eve. But my luck was not good enough to find the keys.

Again, still feeling unsatisfied, I searched at the indoor food court where I had my lunch and felt that I had to ask the aunties who clean the tables. Although, they are from different shifts and didnt have any idea about any keys left behind before their shift, I actually felt heartened to find that they are actually a bunch of nice people behind their seemingly-angry-all-the-time kind of face.

My keys are still missing, and I am still unhappy of me losing the keys just like that, but pouting and grunting yield nothing.

The very least is I tried my best looking for it. Crossing fingers, hoping that the office boy might find something after I asked him to inform me if they do find something after their usual after-office-cleaning

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君にメロロン - Madly in love with you

Slow, mellow and soothing song from hakaba kitarou anime. <3

This song cant stop ringing in my head :')

the figure skater is just a background video though

君にメロメロメロメロメロロン

Madly in love, madly in love with you

あたしメロメロメロメロメロロン

I am madly in love, madly in love

早く気づいてよ この気持ち

please notice this feeling already

メロメロメロロン

mad love mad love

見上げれば 星空のシンフォニー

looking up the sky, at the symphony of the starry sky

指でたどった 愛の星座

reaching with this finger, the constellation of love

月の光 窓を開けたら

the moonlight, opens the window

迎えにきたの 恋のメロディ

welcomes the melody of love

君にメロメロメロメロメロロン

Madly in love, madly in love with you

よく見えるよぅに この目をこらそう

focus your eyes to see it better 

早く気づいてよ この気持ち

please notice this feeling already

メロメロメロロン

mad love mad love

流れ星のリボン 飾って

decorating with the ribbons of shooting stars

三日月の上 腰かけるわ

sitting on the crescent moon

君がくれた キスの魔法で

with the magic of the kiss you gave me

星屑さえも 甘いキャンディ

even the stardust is as sweet as candy

君にメロメロメロメロメロロン

Madly in love, madly in love with you

嬉しいのにね 涙がポロロン

even though I'm happy, the tears are flowing

早く気づいてよ この気持ち

please notice this feeling already

メロメロメロロン

mad love mad love

君に君にメロメロメロメロメロロン

with you, Madly in love, madly in love with you

よく見えるよぅに この目をこらそう

focus your eyes to see it better 

早く気づいてよ この気持ち

please notice this feeling already

メロメロメロロン

mad love mad love

メロメロメロロン

mad mad love

stupid vietnamese girl

Why did she have to appear just like that?

how can I learn to love other girl if this persists?

-_-"

Troll facebook

facebook just trolled me :(

Balls too!

Maybe my father was quoting this guy,
http://9gag.com/gag/237622

When he said this

karma

What was reap, what is sowed

So whatever good or bad deeds done will result in good or bad occurences to us.

Can I like apply for 'loan' of good occurences first then I will top up with good deeds later? I'll even chip in interest. Because bad occurences hinder me to do good deeds right?

Simple philosophy believed with faith by millions. I want to believe that it exists but I can't help but keep thinking that it's just so that everyone expecting (but probably with fingers crossed) to enjoy good fruit instead of bad ones by planting good seeds of deeds.

I can help but think that, (and the belief of reincarnation, and previous life deeds affects on what circumstances you were going to be born in, this life) are also to justify how unfair that some people are born with silver spoon whilst some will have to carry on carrying their parents' burden. Since there's no way to verify that you have lived in other life before your current one anyways.

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PC show - fate not so idiot after all

last Thursday to last weekend was PC show. It was probably going to be just another PC show if her (the colleague) handphone didn't go missing on last Monday (or tues).

So Thursday, Seeing the newspaper ads about PC show that I won't normally care so much about, an idea came to me. I asked her whether she would want to look for handphone offers at the upcoming PC show. Totally a legit conversation. I was almost disheartened when she said she was going to make a phone plan with her cousin, but who would have known that she has been eyeing for a camera?

I was kinda trying to convince her by hinting that the crowd would be crazy on weekend, since better deals are normally offered on the Saturday or the Sunday of the PC Show. But she was busy when I approached her on my way to clock out.

the same day, the start of the PC show and I was staying at my auntie's place for the week. it was only 10 minutes away from the office and I wanted to go back early. Bus number 36 came and I impulsively decided to go and see the PC show on my own.  Another idea came to me: I went ahead and collect the brochures for cameras, and external HDD (partially because I was looking for one, and partially because it would look obvious that I have agenda if I just went there for the sake of getting brochures for her). The day ended. I went back and couldn't to meet her on the next day: i.e. the last when she is going to leave the head office and transfer to site office.

In the morning, I had a short chat with her despite being a bit late despite how near it was to the office (=p). I gave all the brochures that I got for cameras and reiterated to her again how crowded it was. She said she might want to go on that day so I was hopeful but crossing fingers at the same time. Of course I didn't forget to mention that I was looking for external HDD too. Near the end of office hours I walk pass thru her desk again and she asked whether I was going or not. Then I mentioned I didn't want to go alone again, in a jokingly manner, but turned out she wanted to go!

I literally had nothing to do since 5.15 (our office hours is only until 5.15) and I waited patiently and excitedly for her to finish her work until around 6.45 (of course I pretended that I have something to do also and asked her to take her time). Just didn't want her to feel bad. So both of us went there, to look for the offers for the camera she wanted to buy, to look for my HDD that I might want to buy. Long story short, we both got our stuffs in like one two hours. Oops, did I mention we skipped dinner?

So both of us pretty hungry after the 'short' search in the crowded Suntec City Convention Centre. We were looking for food and I suggested Raffles City. But on the way we walk passed TCC; she mentioned that her friend recommended that the choc molten cake is good.

What a lucky day when I saw that there is this one for one promotion for pasta. Just nice for both of us yea. I had the salmon pasta and she had this seafood pasta. It was delicious but it wasn't the food that I savored the most. It was the companionship of course.

Well at the dinner she was narrating a lot of her overseas experience to me. Her final year in UK's Nottingham Colllege and her work and travel program at Yellowstone US. Interesting but made me feel kind of belittled because I have never actually been that outgoing or adventurous or whatever you call that. I should have at least tried to apply for exchange or work and travel too :( . Bah.. regrets yield naught.  

The molten chocolate cake came and that marked that end of her companionship was imminent. We ordered only one and kinda share the thing together (yay!) 

So walked her to the MRT and I needed to top up my EZ-link as well even though I'm taking bus. We parted at near the gate of that Esplanade Circle line. That was the last time I'd see before she transfers to site office. Glad to see her goodbye with that bright smile, hopefully she was really enjoying it.

Hopefully I'd see her during the badminton session with other colleagues in which she's a regular.Though it's going to be more troublesome for her to travel all the way to Marine Parade CC to play. :(

My Boss, our dilemma

My Boss has been on leave. An unpaid, one-month leave. An absence whose rationale she kept silent from us/me.

I have been admiring my boss big time. Every outing with my ex-university-classmates, I will tell them
- how my boss is our direct 13-years senior from the but with a first-class degree.
- how often she is sought after for advice from Project managers, Quantity Surveyors even if they are more senior (in age and experience) than herself
- how she is the head of department despite being the second youngest in it (the youngest is me of course).
- how she is the heavily being relied on and trusted by the big boss and big big boss
- how I believe she is the most worthy right now in the entire company of replacing the big boss in years to come.

It seemed too good to be true but it's probably just my luck to keep encountering figures relatively prominent. Even if I were to be employed by my current company but if I were to be supervised under other boss, I wouldn't have admired the other boss the same way I admire her.

But back to her unpaid-one-month leave. There has been situation that her work (or rather, it's actually the big boss) has put too much a pressure on her life that it's affecting her little sons. During this leave, for urgent matters she will still come back for couple of hours in a week but that's about it; she's gonna be more of a full-time housewife this month.

Whether or not she is going to be a full-time housewife after this one-month-leave (end of which she is supposed to decide), I still think that she is too much to be compromised for the company (the very same consideration which I think the big bosses had when they asked her to take one month leave, so that she could re-consider). But personally this might be affecting my employment, not probably from the company side but from my own side.

After all I think I'm more loyal to this boss instead of to the company itself. But let's see how it goes.



-----------
WoW so you should be very free this month..?

Probably. But work has been coming without assignments from her, so not really actually. The attachment of work is accumulating and it might really really hinder me to make my leave in the worst case. But then again it might be a good chance for all of us in the company to be over-reliant on her.

At times like this me and my colleague from the same dept can only say, "let's hope for the best"

idiot idiot fate

has shown and confirmed that I have certain affinity towards Libra-girls.

idiot fate

Just as I thought that 'this girl' in my office is worth liking (or even more than that) idiot fate comes to play a joke on me again.

I just got a friendly approach started: you know, that kind of casual office convos and joining in their regular badminton activities. By means of a twist and a turn of fate, she will be away for 3 years from the office by the end of this week.. Fml

Maybe I am destined to make extra extra extra efforts for girls that I really like. Dunno... see how it goes

:'(

My stocks vs my work and my hobby

I started to play stocks around two months ago.
Only when I get a hold of how is the procedure like; How long is the Contra date *in Singapore*, how to place a buy or sell order with cash upfront, etc, my goddess of fortune (or lady luck =p )does not seem to be anywhere in my sight.
I keep making bad choices, Sometimes, uninformed, unwise decisions but most of the time, unlucky, unexpected conditions that do not favor the stocks that I always hold. I always have to sell before the price actually rises because I need to sell it within the contra limit. I don't actually have money to play with the number of shares I could play with by means of contra.
In the end, driven blind by greed, I lose much much more than how much profit I'd imagine to make realistically.

Around a month or two ago I also started to collect anime figurines. It costs quite a deal so I figured out if I could earn a little bit of extra pocket money I can spend it on this new hobby. Turns out this hobby is addictive and I could hardly resist all those tiny useless but cut display items, despite my losses in stocks. Although I'm not generating any extra income, I keep mindless spending on all these stuffs.

I have been working for close to 8 months now, and it does not pay especially good. I hate to talk about pay nowadays because most of my friends are paid better than me now, (especially some with their new jobs). I love my current job and I hold a great admiration and reverence to my direct (not the big, neither the ultimate boss) boss to the point that I always talk about her when all of us are talking about work. I thought, maybe I could find a better paying job if I decide to apply to for new jobs. But this job scope and boss is getting too much of a risk to be compromised even I were to get a better paying job.
I started playing stocks so that I could be distracted away from my barely-enough pay. Although I will be distracted to my stock watchlists for few minutes daily (or hourly) during my job. But I will gladly stay there if I could earn that extra money from stocks.

Right now I'm still not willing to look for a better paying job just yet. So probably the best decision is to quit touching all these equities regardless how much I really want to just at least break even all my previous loses (which in turn contributes to my lose even more). Question is, I am ready to quit?

A Birthday wish

Hi Teddy,

Good if you are reading this.
The same thing that I did last year, since I can't find you on facebook today I will just wish you a decent happy reminding-you-that-you-are-one-year-older-day.

You might have gotten ample new friends/acquaintances (and I'm sure it would have been damn easy for you to get a new clique) or you might have been living a quiet peaceful life since you cut contact with us approximately one year ago. A whole year had past and you still had decided not show up. Although it seems that a lot of us don't even want to be reminded of your name anymore due to that, but I think deep inside all of us, if things were as ignorant and as blissful as what it used to be, it'd be great.

But I think that's just the way you are. Your disappearance made us realize how much we actually don't know about you. Don't blame us for not doing anything since we can't do anything about it since it takes two to clap or tango. If you'd show up one day then great and hopefully that is soon but if you'd decide to go your own way, then please by all means for as long as you are happy.

Happy Birthday!! haha..

boarding bus

To think that I would recognize her again even though from just at a glance from far a way. I was boarding at the front door and she was alighting at the mid door of the bus.
hahaha.
amazing lah me.

Sick

it is better to be healthy and working

than

to be sick and resting at home

than

to be sick and working

--

of course I have been sick and working and it was really an unpleasant experience. That kind of state of mind that does not allow you to think clearly and all that body ache, drowsiness , and weak feeling make things even worse.

--

and of course the best is when I can just rest at home all day staying healthy but how the heck am I gonna earn money?

Selective Response

There was once this person who introduced to me this term "selective hearing" and how he told me that I am prejudiced and hear selectively.

I have kept that as a feedback in mind and I always pursue the way for a better me.

But who would have guessed that up to this time, this particular guy, hopefully still a dear friend of ours, implicitly teaches us something from his relatively long term disappearance.

Selective response

Who would have thought that he is the one who will act so against us?

There is insistence that there might be a reason behind this, an unsatisfyingly inexplicable one:
He's just being him.

But we can't simply just accept that can't we? I don't know anymore, part of me secretly hopes that one day he will be frequenting our rare gatherings again. All of those ideals he gave us and most of those he sat away from them.

life update April 2011

One of our friends, has just made (in my view) one of the greatest decisions his life.

I believe it takes great great courage, contemplation, planning, hope and faith to do so; I can only say that most of us in the group are nowhere near that yet. I frankly admire his very action of deciding and choosing the person who is going to accompany him for the rest of his life; and it's a bit sad to think that it will still be a long way for me to be able to reach that kind of level.

Meanwhile I myself has forgotten how to love and it might be all lustful desire all along without the plain, purely naive feeling of affections that is left in my mind. Hopefully a figure who will think that I'm worthy of affection, and who is worthy of my affection too, will descend from that sky and offer humbly her heart to me. Whence that day comes, I shall offer mine too; and if we manage to make them beat harmoniously, I might be able to get to his level.... right?

 always tell myself that I'm still young but I hope I won't be the same stubborn who keeps self-acclaimed youth attitude in the future when I'm actually old.

Up to this track of life, I can only still move forward blindly, hoping to gather a courage for a change of route which now seems dark and mysterious to me.

wew

Wew

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the jacket day

Yesterday, I finally received the company jacket that I have been expecting since my job's confirmation letter after the probation was over 3 months ago.

It might be a coincidence that after a long round of meeting, I talked to my direct boss, whom I waited till 7pm (althought kinda finished my work for the day at ard 6). Turned out that she questioned me about how I ready I am for days to come and how I will deal with it.
It was kinda weird since normally the conversation topic would be about the ongoing issues that she might be handling for the company, or some other work stuff.

I don't know how she sees me, but it felt like a review to me... An unplanned, spontaneous one, and I think this will be probably the 'start' of real work (same work but more stuffs, with higher expectation).

Such coincidence make it seems like the jacket means more than just a jacket.

And let's see whether I can keep up! :)

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lalala~

It baffles me though,
On how much I am still happy about a half-song-simple-small-steps.
Probably that just shows how superficial of a person I actually am.

Or I am just happee becase those two times were the first and second time I actually asked a girl for a dance?

But I am getting more confident that I will get a gf later than everyone else since I don't even understand myself anymore (and how would any girl?)

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DnD XD

Well,

Although pride-swallowing during rejection is a little bit painful, it comforts me that I was not the only one rejected, and at least I managed to get a dance with another girl even for just half a song ;)
hehehe

but anyways it's just a dance.

but anyways at least I am happy now. hahaha

test

Test post

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Test post

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Moron

Either I am a moron for not being able to present my argument in a clear cut, unambiguous manner,
or a moron due to the continuation of that action of arguing with people who don't get the point of my arguments.
or both.

Either way I am a moron, and I still can't stop being one despite the bittering conditions.

Looking forward to...

The only thing that I would complain about my work right now is the lack of it.

I have been getting too free and I have been deliberately spending too much time on a work that I can finish fast because I know I won't have anything to do if I finish it and that kinda sucks because I can't be facebooking nor blogging or drawing comics at the office.

It's getting less exciting nowadays and days seems to pass at an even speedier rate as I keep myself occupied from boredom of going through each and everyday slowly by looking forward to an upcoming event, like swimming or futsal on saturday; or simply by looking forward to weekend.

There's also another reason for relatively speedier rate: Because in a day where we could do more things we like, now we can only do much less due to work.

Hey it's gonna be weekend soon! again!

It feels kinda lonely but I am not sure anymore who I am longing for.
oh brain and the heart, why do you guys stand so far apart hehehe

did you expect high or low

Happiness comes from low expectation
Greater Happiness comes from an achieved high-expectation

Escape

Probably my parents' wanting me to try to make myself a living to the tiny island instead of down here in this home country, it's all due to their desire to flee from whatever they are experiencing here, either consciously or subconsciously.

I'm pretty sure that every family has its fair portion of unpleasant/undesirable conditions, including either from itself, or from outside. And say if they were able to reside in the tiny island instead, they'd at least be freed from the latter.
Let's not talk about the permanence of that freedom, as ideally problems irregardless of how complicated it is solvable and when there's a problem, it is to be solved; but realistically, even for adults, it's just too much for them to handle.

Everytime I went back to the tiny island there's this burden that felt relieved as I don't have to feel the distress the rest of my family is having such as: problematic relatives, pride and peer-pressure, and all these kind of stuffs, and I everytime I come back here to my hometown, it's only to re-realize it again.

For everything that my parents have done to me, I would always remember that I am their biggest investment and I shall not fail them. That will be my biggest motivation, and I hope to that motivated all the way.

a post so pointless

So much to tell
So little will to write

The power of habit

Now unless I am very very very very very tired, I can't sleep more than 6.5 hours anymore even on weekends. Amazing...

Amazing

When I speak with realists, I will become an idealist.
When I speak with idealists, I will become a realist.
It's amazing to realize that I am so inconsistent, and undecided. Or probably it's just my nature to pick up arguments with people.

Grow Old

Found some awesome and wicked cool quote:

"You never grow old, you become old by not continuing to grow" - Wilford A Peterson 

because the "we do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing" is already too cliche!