karma

What was reap, what is sowed

So whatever good or bad deeds done will result in good or bad occurences to us.

Can I like apply for 'loan' of good occurences first then I will top up with good deeds later? I'll even chip in interest. Because bad occurences hinder me to do good deeds right?

Simple philosophy believed with faith by millions. I want to believe that it exists but I can't help but keep thinking that it's just so that everyone expecting (but probably with fingers crossed) to enjoy good fruit instead of bad ones by planting good seeds of deeds.

I can help but think that, (and the belief of reincarnation, and previous life deeds affects on what circumstances you were going to be born in, this life) are also to justify how unfair that some people are born with silver spoon whilst some will have to carry on carrying their parents' burden. Since there's no way to verify that you have lived in other life before your current one anyways.

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distance

I am the type who do not tell everyone else that a person is my close/best friend, not even when I strongly feel that s/he is. In a friend-friend relationship, I always hedged from admitting unless they other one already admitted that s/he is my close/best friend.

Just an opinion though:
it's always good to play safe in this kind of relationship.
Saves your face when you find out the other friend do not think of you as highly as how you think of him/her; or feel that you do not mean as much to him/her as s/he to you. you will never really know... really

Well, save that we do naturally have close friends, it disappoints you they fail to go along with your ideals. The more you know a person, and the more you find out that s/he does not fit your personality, the more unpleasant feeling you'll take in. Tell me about it, that it's not how the personalities can fit one another but it's up to how you can accept a person as who s/he is? Plain baloney. It takes two different hands to clap.

I think these problems: unknown distance that grows overtime, or fading friendship, and ability for acceptance are the very underlying bases of human as a social being to find a mate, other than to make love:

Because the other mate will be the most perfect friend for you.

Let's hope I can really find one, this life.

Idealist

It's either you stop being one, or you avoid the things that hinders you from being one.
It's like either black or white
because the grey will get on your nerves.

I am either very persistent or just plain stupid

my idealism

is gonna kill me someday