Found the picture on 9gag. Let's make this the preface of the post.
She hid her birth date on Facebook and as a result, only a few people gave her birthday wishes on facebook. A few means probably less than 10 in this case. And despite so, I have remembered it and I sent her a personal message to wish her happy birthday. I did not received any reply to-date: not even receive a single token of gratitude.
Probably in her eyes, I am just one of those creepy fellas who keeps disturbing her online and there is no point for her to bother to reply. Or maybe not just in her eyes, anyone who observes me would probably have the same impression too. I am aware of this and being creepy is the last thing that I want to be, but alas, as I am blinded by this chronic infatuation which always keeps me believing in a false hope: that maybe if I am persistent enough, she may give me a chance.
She hid her birth date on Facebook and as a result, only a few people gave her birthday wishes on facebook. A few means probably less than 10 in this case. And despite so, I have remembered it and I sent her a personal message to wish her happy birthday. I did not received any reply to-date: not even receive a single token of gratitude.
Probably in her eyes, I am just one of those creepy fellas who keeps disturbing her online and there is no point for her to bother to reply. Or maybe not just in her eyes, anyone who observes me would probably have the same impression too. I am aware of this and being creepy is the last thing that I want to be, but alas, as I am blinded by this chronic infatuation which always keeps me believing in a false hope: that maybe if I am persistent enough, she may give me a chance.
Maybe I have been one big idiot, drowning in my own delusions throughout these 6 silly years. It feels warm and comfortable to think about how elated I will be if I can win her heart. The thought itself is enough to keep me going, yet reality is never as what we'd expect it to be, as usual, and it's actually painful to realise so.
Meanwhile, as a normal guy who is always attracted to girls, I have indeed met a few likeable girls along this same 6 year period. I should just fall for one of them and maybe I will be able to forget her and be happy, right? Whilst such were my alternative thought (or wish), this was never possible: the other one always prevails to convince me.
she is just that girl that I would perceive so differently. There has been no one except her that gives me as much trembling nervousness from the simple sight of her from afar. It's very unsightly of me as I would just cower and blame myself afterwards for being such a sissy. I would associate her with any love songs I hear, and I would day-dream about her. She's just too hard to erase from my mind.
she is just that girl that I would perceive so differently. There has been no one except her that gives me as much trembling nervousness from the simple sight of her from afar. It's very unsightly of me as I would just cower and blame myself afterwards for being such a sissy. I would associate her with any love songs I hear, and I would day-dream about her. She's just too hard to erase from my mind.
Even more dumbfounding, the last 2 - 3 years when I have not met her at all in real life and when I thought the popular phrase "time will heal" would work, a simple update in the Facebook newsfeed, has never failed to relight the spark. And then I would start pondering all over again on whether or not to keep persisting in trying to talk to her. There has never been satisfactory result at all from the very few attempts.
this is just too pathetic. I feel sorry for myself.
I may still yearn for her. very much. I will take more time to ignore the thoughts. But for my own good, it's time to put a stop. Maybe I'd be happier without her.
this is just too pathetic. I feel sorry for myself.
I may still yearn for her. very much. I will take more time to ignore the thoughts. But for my own good, it's time to put a stop. Maybe I'd be happier without her.
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