Determination

"天下无难事，只怕有心人。"
tian xia wu nan shi, zhi pa you xin ren
sky below no hard problem, just afraid there's hearted people
(there's no difficult problem under the sky, the matter is whether there is any determined person)

I learnt this Chinese idiom 3-4 years ago and it is still sticking on my mind. Although this sounds like a primary schoolers' idiom,(sorry, not chinese educated, and the idiom was taught by some Chinese Language teacher) but that's the principle that I should have instilled in my mindset.
Similar simple idiom is "Dimana ada kemauan, disitu ada jalan" perhaps was directly adopted from English's "Where there is a will, there is a way". What a shame for me to learn about an idiom just to know the meaning and use it for daily conversation (yeah perhaps sometimes..), but not to realize that in my life.

As mentioned in "I'm not perfect" I was so called 'attacked' by my unca's friend, but again, there's an indirect lesson from there: Oh C'mon, why only after he asked that question "So what are you going to do after you graduate? Do you want to stay here in Singapore or go back to Medan?" only from that question, I just realized how unsure I have been.
I actually did hedging and answered: "depends" and that, just that, is enough to show how weak I am as a person.
I have lacked this.. Determination.. to set a benchmark for my goal. I'm not even sure what the hell I'm going to do after the graduation; and very frankly, I was only thinking like "Ah, after graduation, go and search for some stable job and settle down here." What a simple thought. And that thought doesn't even include whether what job I'll look for and how I can contribute and earn from that job. "A normal office job will do". Yeah, that's too weak. For me it's too weak, yet, the weakness is me, myself..

Some close friends of me has shared their goals and they don't lack the determination:
Mike, The lame one: "I want to go back and equip myself with some cooking skill. I want to prepare for entrepreneurial business in F&B and maybe If there's a chance, I want to open some food service in the coming new TownCampus (New hostel)."
CheaSingKong: "I want to retire before the age 27 or 30 and to realize that I want to start a business. That's why I start going to financial planning talks and go to entrepreneurship club to learn something."

"Hah!" I told SingKong during the three person dinner at K.Gourmet on his birthday,
"In Singapore, I realize this is very popular: what I want to do is to have a property like public building and have my name/surname there like 'Luimenta's Building'; just like Lee Kong Chian's Building for National Library and University hall" (wiki even says the largest Lecture theater in NTU and School of Business in SMU is under his name)

And.. That probably is just a very childish dream....

especially with my current situation: even survival in this country might be a problem!

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Mike, The lame one was in my room and we were somehow chatting about interview and how he had made me realized how important determination is. He mentioned about the Matriculation Fair interview and I was applying for Vice Project Director and Vice Publicity head. Well, I knew I wouldn't have had any chance for the former post because I never had any relevant experience about driving a team in a leadership position for such a huge project, but it was my desire to take that kind of position. But as I have predicted that that's not so possible, I put Vice Publicity head as my second choice because I was quite sure that I could take the position easily. I was the Publicity Head doing most of the publicity related thing in previous year's Matriculation Fair and now I'm only applying for VICE publicity head.
So I went there empty handed, the Project Director greeted me, asked me about holiday commitments, any other relevant experience for Vice PD position, and that's all. Then after several days I was informed that my application for both posts was unsuccessful. It was like a slap on my face.
And after that chat with mike, I just realized that it was my own fault. I don't lack the experience: for the latter position; but the passion. At least two other applicants brought their portfolios and one of them were chosen for the job. That's the thing! I didn't even bother to show them (the interviewers) not only the experience but also the passion.
Because the determination is not enough.

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Dammit.
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+Me being over-sized is because of no determination to control my intake of food and do regular sports (though maybe we play sports often like basketball, maybe indeed my intake of food is really really getting more and more uncontrolled).

+My score being so low is because of no determination to study harder and harder, to contribute my best to projects and assignments and even to properly prepare for final examination!

+The adobe premiere that I dreamed to master by last year's summer holiday! It's almost another one year again and I never started to learn! Never had any determination to do so
.
+Hiragana and Katakana (japanese) characters that I wished to master by last year's December holiday! I never memorized them all. No strong determination at all.

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+My
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+Never learnt any musical instruments! Wished to master one or two but never had the determination to do so either!

+My room in "wrecked ship" condition! Never had any determination to tidy it up.

+Welcome Fest (Resident Assistant - Freshmen Orientation in PGP) Chairperson appointment. Didn't dare to volunteer! Wanted it so badly but determination too weak to have my hand raised up so that our boss can appoint me. In the end, the position was taken by someone else.

+No determination to contribute in last year's PINUS executive committee and NUSSU Bizcom's Management Committee. Missing in Action for the term of appointment for the former; Quit even before halfway for the latter.

My goodness.. I'm so screwed!
so ashamed of myself..

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Still down to have this kind of determination. not yet DETERMINED to have DETERMINATION!
===tsk......
William, you suck