I'm not perfect

it is my cousin's birthday today. He's actually in secondary 4, going to have his "O" level in this November. So his mother, my aunt, called me to have lunch with their family. There's guy, a friend of my uncle, but they are quite close with him and my uncle looks like a father or an older brother to him.

so this guy is a young: around 20-30 something but looks really young but matured, maybe like a third year undergrad. He's pretty well-built and handsome as well. A pair of big eyes, tough jaw and a nose with nice protrusion. His height is fair, around 168, only prediction though because he's abit shorter than me.. He's single and every time we (me, my cousin's family and him) have some good dinner outside, the owner would have recognized them and would always compliment his good look.

Not only he has the look but he's also supposedly well educated. He's got a degree from the States with a GPA of 3.6 out of 4. And not only he has the look and education, he's got wealth! a loaded guy with a home like palace in Medan, and a three-room condominium at Tanglin's road (where rich people stay, it's the area around some embassies' offices if i'm not mistaken.) with a jaguar here in Singapore, if i'm not mistaken another jaguar in Medan and some other cars i suppose. I wouldn't want to comment whether he was born rich or he obtained those bunches of wealth alone.

Okay, but today we didn't ride the jaguar, instead, it was a Nissan sedan from my uncle's condo. And then we went to "AhYat Seafood", some seafood restaurant that i just visited for the first time. So we were like having some chit-chat and he shifted the topic to my education I have had in Singapore. First he asked about what I was studying and I became a bit irritated when he asked me about how well I have performed, ("what's your score?").

"3.1" I answered.. "out of 5.0"

I knew I'm stupid, or at least I don't have the will to study really hard and so I gave some excuses to save my face. I'm not sure whether he's a hardworker too but man, it's NUS here, it was in the world's top twenty and it's not that easy to score dude!

His implications was good: that I should study hard; but i just don't like the tone when he compared 3.1 out of 5.0 and his 3.6 out of 4 to my uncle.

So yea he was like "how are you gonna compete with others to find job with that score?"

"Yea that's why I'm improving my score step by step". /*Bullshit, I can improve my score but the school has been insane! If we can only improve our score by memorizing! My score's not gonna improve. Singaporeans were trained for it (i guess) and I was quite annoyed when some sporean said to me during last semester's exam "You just have to memorize what". And because it's NUS, moreover 95% of the class was Singaporean, and I just wished good luck for myself.*/

Yes, I admit I have always heard about CAP affects, but it only affects your first pay. This remark may sound a little "lazy" because for me it sounds like "no need to study hard man, the rest depends on yourself after you are working. So just relax."

But I guess maybe I should indeed study "a bit" harder?

Second thing, he was asking "so are you gonna stay in Singapore after you work (satisfy the tuition grant contract) ?".

As usual, my favorite action was to hedge(Yay for those who have take Professional Communication) and so I gave a vague answer: "Maybe no, maybe yes.."

"Which one is nicer? Singapore or Medan?"

"well, Singapore has its nice factors and so does Medan!" I tried to sound friendly

But this was analyzed as if I'm someone with no stand. I think he was indirectly telling me to make up my mind. "Dude, you can't be unsure, if you want to stay in Singapore, just have the will and everything will go smooth, and so if you are determined to live your life in Medan." That's the indirect message.

Yes, I get this indirect message because I think I'm quite observant to catch what people are talking. But heck care. Man! life is not as easy as we think and even if I want to stay in Singapore, everything can just be difficult because circumstances might be unpredictable. For me, after I think awhile I got this analogy, "Life is like playing chess.. To win, will alone is not enough, you need strategy!" Our life is not as smooth as his and he has generalized hastily (yay for those who has taken Critical Thinking and Writing) if he had assumed that opportunity will be always with him all the time as long as our will is there! I cannot just decide on one choice because we'll have to see the circumstances first right?


For him, life could have been very easy but maybe not for us.
He may have led a perfectly fine life, unless for his status being single, or maybe that's because he's got too high qualifications and criteria? Such a perfectionist.


I'll live my life the way I want. With imperfectness but I'll give in more and more and learn more and more! Perfectness makes you blind from imperfects' point of view. We know the hardships and isn't it living life about?