Now I know pretty clearly how am I perceived in different social circles of mine.
Work
When at work, I tend to be a quiet and straightforward guy, who accesses facebook only from my mobile phone just for the sole purpose of keeping myself awake (the most effective way) and emails random stuffs to my peers in other company for the same purpose. Due to frequent sneezing recently, I guess, they have been talking behind my back about me since I always failed to keep myself awake due to excessive reading materials (lol)
But this is how my colleagues or particularly my bosses see me: that I am a "kind" and "caring" (as quoted directly from them [bosses] ) boy.
My boss was hospitalized due to dengue a month ago and I was always enquired about by the rest of the colleague (since she's quite popular, sociable and respected in the company, and me because I am the only person under her direct supervision). So I texted her to ask about her, so if there's anyone else asking me about her, I can update them on how she was doing.
Due to her recent busy events, I left fruits (from the free-flow fruits counter available every Wednesday) on her table since she sometimes didn't even have time for lunch. Of course one senior admin colleague who's very close to her was the one who suggested me to do that.
These two actions gave me the "caring" impression albeit the lack or non-existence of the genuine intention
The "kind" impression when I was giving the big boss the 3 bottles of red wines and one chivas regal to him, I won from the lucky draw (internal). The prizes were the hampers the boss got from his sub-contractors or clients, etc.
Call me stupid, but I don't feel I deserve these lucky draw prizes and I don't see the point in indulging with that much of alcohol although I might be quite able in drinking (no allergy with probably high threshold, and ability for moderation). Anyways, even the greeting card was addressed to the big boss, so I accepted the luck up to only the boxes of chocolate.... and the door shelf
Friends (regulars)
When I am with the regulars or sometimes not really regulars, (as I only came to better realization after this Christmas night (not eve) outing with my ex-highschool classmates), I am seen probably as "anal" or "childish" or "like to complicate matters when things are so simple".
Just as when they were trying to ask a lot of things (particularly when relating to privacy), in order to save my face, I gave a lot of argument on definition. This was although from normal social situation the question was supposed to be "almost" perfectly understandable. I said "almost" because if I haven't done that, I wouldn't have known (or be reminded) that women had a very different perception to affections, compared with men.
I even used "when a person say 'I want this wall built with bricks' it does not clearly represent how that person want the bricks to be arranged. It could be alternate, or stacking or some other arrangement, so without specified details, we won't know what that person mean"-kind of example, to portray oversimplifications (lack of definition) leads to nowhere.
Of course the process had to come with a lot of argument, and a feedback that I complicates simple things.
I was also trying to highlight hasty assumptions, but of course the points were not received in a smooth way, partially contributed my lack of ability to clearly explain to them, partially contributed by their lack of interest in my explanation too, and the rest of the reason is probably due to the classic I-am-the-most-mature syndrome in everyone (including myself). Every time they had the chance to insinuate me with my own points, their relevance to the insinuation and the irrelevance to the ongoing topic ridiculed me.
Although in the end I have managed to convince them that what I said was reasonable, there seemed to be a bit of retained un-acceptance in them.
Similar, but not the same situations also happens when with my other circle of friends, especially friends of the same batch. I realize that this is a new trait that I obtained from my job (although just very recent), it might not be a pleasant change to my environment, but I am not unhappy that I changed this way.
Conclusion
from the comparison of the two situations:
With the non-existence of good intention, or the lack thereof, I could be well-perceived, since I am only judged by my "visible action"
With the relatively good intention to highlight common sense and justifications of words and actions, I could see myself judged more to an "anal" rather "reasonable".
It is probably people tend to judge with a handful of information they can digest directly, and not bothering to observe a bit while more, and it's actually a very misleading image if we get to assumptions too early.
Now for those people who can read this, if I get anal again to any of you, please enjoy the fun of "rebutting" or "pressuring" my arguments. I mean no personal attack, and most of the time it's only to justify my points.
If I am very nice to you, don't feel too good since I might not act the way I feel towards you.
I will of course, apply this point of view when I am faced with similar situations too. It's only fair and reasonable that way.
the hamper, probably the one that intrigued the most people ;)
Call me stupid, but I don't feel I deserve these lucky draw prizes and I don't see the point in indulging with that much of alcohol although I might be quite able in drinking (no allergy with probably high threshold, and ability for moderation). Anyways, even the greeting card was addressed to the big boss, so I accepted the luck up to only the boxes of chocolate.... and the door shelf
Friends (regulars)
When I am with the regulars or sometimes not really regulars, (as I only came to better realization after this Christmas night (not eve) outing with my ex-highschool classmates), I am seen probably as "anal" or "childish" or "like to complicate matters when things are so simple".
Just as when they were trying to ask a lot of things (particularly when relating to privacy), in order to save my face, I gave a lot of argument on definition. This was although from normal social situation the question was supposed to be "almost" perfectly understandable. I said "almost" because if I haven't done that, I wouldn't have known (or be reminded) that women had a very different perception to affections, compared with men.
I even used "when a person say 'I want this wall built with bricks' it does not clearly represent how that person want the bricks to be arranged. It could be alternate, or stacking or some other arrangement, so without specified details, we won't know what that person mean"-kind of example, to portray oversimplifications (lack of definition) leads to nowhere.
Of course the process had to come with a lot of argument, and a feedback that I complicates simple things.
I was also trying to highlight hasty assumptions, but of course the points were not received in a smooth way, partially contributed my lack of ability to clearly explain to them, partially contributed by their lack of interest in my explanation too, and the rest of the reason is probably due to the classic I-am-the-most-mature syndrome in everyone (including myself). Every time they had the chance to insinuate me with my own points, their relevance to the insinuation and the irrelevance to the ongoing topic ridiculed me.
poor boy kena press-ed when eating apple crumble with ice-cream
Although in the end I have managed to convince them that what I said was reasonable, there seemed to be a bit of retained un-acceptance in them.
Similar, but not the same situations also happens when with my other circle of friends, especially friends of the same batch. I realize that this is a new trait that I obtained from my job (although just very recent), it might not be a pleasant change to my environment, but I am not unhappy that I changed this way.
Conclusion
from the comparison of the two situations:
With the non-existence of good intention, or the lack thereof, I could be well-perceived, since I am only judged by my "visible action"
With the relatively good intention to highlight common sense and justifications of words and actions, I could see myself judged more to an "anal" rather "reasonable".
It is probably people tend to judge with a handful of information they can digest directly, and not bothering to observe a bit while more, and it's actually a very misleading image if we get to assumptions too early.
Now for those people who can read this, if I get anal again to any of you, please enjoy the fun of "rebutting" or "pressuring" my arguments. I mean no personal attack, and most of the time it's only to justify my points.
If I am very nice to you, don't feel too good since I might not act the way I feel towards you.
I will of course, apply this point of view when I am faced with similar situations too. It's only fair and reasonable that way.
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