WHY!!!!!

WHY!!!???
why do I have to see her again!! Why????

Why can't I just go and find a new beautiful/cute/pretty eyecandy and get over this one? What is this 2.8 years admiring the same girl for? Seriously.

Meanwhile, I don't know why I have a particular interest about the psychic power that one of our friends admitted to possess. She has the ability to predict the future and she said I'm gonna get into a relationship soon, as soon as April?

Bearing in my that I hold to the principle that we craft our own destiny, a relationship is just another form of fruit from our attempts in getting into one. At my current rate, unless I break this spell (that's it! maybe it's a spell!! yeah, right... =.= how ridiculous do I sound? haha) or find a cure for my timidity and start on those attempts I won't be able to get any GF, probably not as soon.

But again, this desire (read: what your heart says ) goes against my thought (read: what my mind says) which always keep me contemplating on the pointlessness of getting a GF at my age. I'm not even financially independent yet and I'm a guy. It's also a common sense that GF is just an extra commitment that will take your extra time, maybe money and probably gives you extra stress.
The heart says the other way round when it gives this lonesome feeling whenever I see a happy couple or whenever I see her and how I don't her to be a GF of someone else other than me.

Thanks to this uncertainty caused by these thoughts not complementing to one another, I just walk my way the usual way I would do it. The indifferent me, waiting to get older but not wanting to grow old, waiting to graduate but at the same time, hoping not to graduate this soon.
FML la